@ week 5

How was I feeling then?

No major change. In terms of eating, I could still eat the usual stuff, i.e. oriental, western, Jap, etc. I was slightly more sleepy these days compare to before. In terms of physical wise, my weight has dropped without me knowing when. All the while my weight yoyo between 54-56kg. But the time I knew and weigh, I was actually 53kg. But then, one thing for sure was my boobs swell like nobody business. Before my period was due, it has already swollen and been a pain to touch. I dismissed it as another PMS. As for my tummy, it has the usual pre period cramp, which was another thing that I brushed it off as PMS too. But now thinking back, it was two of the common pregnancy symptom, which I totally missed out.

How about Hubs?

He has started to do some research on what to eat/not to eat. How cute. He even called up a good friend of us (a very qualified Doc) to ask his advise. Hubs started talking to baby almost every night. How cute!

First Check Up @ 070409

I still remember vividly the first check up after I took the test myself. It was very early in the morn that Hubs went to place the card, so that we can get first in the line again. We did not tell MIL beforehand and when she caught Hubs sneaking back while on her way to market, her question marks began to form. At first she just asked if Hubs was out for the normal morning jog. But she just has her way of asking that I couldn't avoid telling her the truth. And so I told her the real thing plus that my period has not come YET..which made her ?? grew a whole lot more..hehe..

Well, she did not pursue further...from me BUT when I went inside the bathroom, she barked into our room and woke Hubs up, and questioned him left and right. I had anticipated this earlier on, so I had already made Hubs promised to keep quiet about the actual (tested + stuff) until we get confirmation from Doc. Hubs merely told her that it was a follow up check up. Erm...whether she believe it onot, she'll have to wait till after the check up.

We were entertained by the nurse before we get to meet Doc. What was funny was that she asked me, "Ambil ubat (Taken medicine)?" as I was prescribed with clomid the visit before. She must have thought that I was there for the follow up, after taken clomid. My answer? "Belum (Haven't)." I felt funny because the baby was there without the help of clomid...which is FANTASTIC. Doc came and did an ultra scan on my tummy. All we could see was a dot on the screen. I was thinking to myself, "Is this my baby or is it just another polyp thingy cause they seriously look the same". He further did vaginal check just to get a better look on the dot. I get a glimpse of Hubs face and I could see that he's beaming with delight, to see his junior actually starting to grow. I was actually still not relief after meeting Doc, cause from what he said, he can see that foetus inside but will not know for sure if it's safely in the uterus....that's something disturbing.

All in all I was still excited about it and couldn't wait to tell the whole world. But I can only share the news with my parents and in-laws. The first to get the news was of course none other than my MIL. When I called her, she was super cool and calm, just advising me not to eat spicy and sour too much. I bet she must have jumped on the bed and somersault a few rounds after putting down the phone. Next on my list was Mom. The first thing she asked me was, it is a twins? *Slap forehead*

I'm officially 3 months

After been keeping hush hush for so long, I finally can tell the whole world

I'M PREGNANT!

Yea...it's true. Today is my last day of my first trimester. The first 3 months are usually the most risky, and hence, most people choose not to say anything. And the according to the elders, baby will be 'small gas' and might decide to leave if we tell the others. So we decided to only tell our parents.

From the previous posts, you would have read my frustration and disappointment. So I decided to take it easy that month and didn't even think of rushing to toilet to test when my period decided to stop. Day 1 passed, Day 2 passed, came Day 3,4,5...well, last month it was late for 5 days and still it was just a false alarm. Although I had wanted so much to believe that this time, it has stop for real. I just couldn't bring myself to face another disappointment. So I still delayed the test. It wasn't until it was the 6th day morning, while Hubs was still sleeping...that I quietly slipped out of bed, secretly brought the brand new, leftover test kit from last month (wrapped inside my towel) and went to bathroom as usual.

With a deep breathe, I pee-ed onto the stick and waited patiently. I thought it would take forever to see the two lines, just like last month. How wrong was I. Within seconds, they appeared before my eyes and my jaws just dropped in disbelief. Could it be? Am I truly...? I tried to control my excitement. I wanted to pretend nothing had happen and continue to take a bath but I just couldn't. Immediately after wrapping myself in towel, I rush back into the bedroom. I put on a serious face (trying hard not to give my ear to ear grin), hide the stick below my pillow and woke Hubs up. I bet he was worried when he saw my face. He kept on asking what's wrong. I lied down on the bed, with my back facing him. Until I was sure he was at the right distant, I pulled out this.

He didn't say a word...just gave me a wide smile and a deep hug. And I went back to continue my bath...haha..That morning, we went to have breakfast and brought another test kit, just to confirm. He urged me to give it another try, right at his office but I was thinking, usually it has to be the first urine in the morn. Will it show just a line this time? It took me quite some time before I thought…what the heck, let’s try. Pee-ed again, dripped it on the right hole and waited with my heart pounding. Tada!!!

The result was the same. It's confirmed. I'm going to be a mum. I'm having something growing in my tummy at that very second. I went out and secretly showed Hubs the result, which ended up both of us smiling and getting curious look from his colleagues. All we could do at that time was more research on the Internet and waited patiently for the very first check up the next day.

Sneak peak into what's coming next

They said a picture speaks a thousand words..so here you go. I'll just let the picture speaks for itself.
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Don't eat this, don't eat that..

You know when they say if you are planning to conceive you have to do this, do that...eat this, eat that....don't this don't that? Well, I'm not going to take it so seriously anymore. I'm just so sick of trying and waiting for nothing every month. And you know what, all this pantang larang is only making me more stress out. Giving me hope and taking it away every month. I see so many couple had theirs unplanned...need I add 'easily'? Here I am..taking every precaution just to get disappointment. So from now on...don't tell me "cannot eat tomyam", "cannot drink ice water", "cannot go jogging, just do normal walk"...To hell with NO tomyam, NO kopi peng, NO seafood, NO laksa..

Yesterday lunch when I ordered Neslo peng, Hubs reminded me that I was not suppose to take ice. I just shoot back, " All this is making me more stressful. I thought you ask me to take it easy". Haha...so syiok!

Last month

It all went so well...at least I thought so. My menses was late. The most I've experienced was a delay of ONE day. And that never leave me a chance to get overexcited. The next morn sure will see the hint of blood stripe on my discharge. I had so much discharge a week before that practically one panty liner was not enough for a day, so my hope was getting higher. I was scheduled to be on flight 2 days after my predicted period due. Due to this delay, I missed the flight for fear that it might not be able to take the air pressure. Hubs was anxious as well, always asking how I'm doing. The 3 testers that I used were still showing the same disappointing ONE line. As there was still no sign of my period, I was still clinging on to that very slim hope.

At last, my worst fear came. This time, it was late for five days!! FIVE FREAKING ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR TWO LINES DAY!!! It was the most unbearable thing that I had to face. I cried buckets of tears and was totally down. That false alarm was just too much of a joke for me. I believe Hubs does not take it easily too but he has to look strong for me. At times I really couldn't understand why am I the only one who is taking this thing so seriously. He was like, "The time will come." Arghh...

Update

Although I've not been updating this blog, never had I stop my mission to get myself conceive. My dream of being a mommy still stand tall. Thus, I've been doing things without updating them here. Call me superstitious, but I'll not risk not being able to achieve my mission. You'll not be hearing anything from me until I'm in my trimester. (No I'm not hinting I've tested positive by now)